Moving to this state I was really not trying to date anyone because there was still this question whether or not I would be staying or moving back home. Well, my decision is that I am going to be moving back home. I have come to the realization that I can’t be in states that are very closed minded and conservative with no city life. Anyway, that’s besides the point. I was really not trying to date anyone but I ended up doing that and honestly, I’m glad it happened. We are NOT together anymore, but I am going to tell you why I’m glad it happened.
So me and this person had actually been talking back and forth through instagram for about a year or so and initially I thought it was just going to be friendship but it turned into more than that. At first things were great, we spent a lot of time together, we talked about everything, and we just vibed. Things were moving very fast but I wasn’t mad at that. Every relationship has it’s rough patches and its up to the people in the relationship if they want to work through those rough patches or not. Well we had hit our rough patch and I’m not going to say I didn’t try to work through the rough patches, but when things are becoming HUGE RED FLAGS, it’s time to put yourself first and your mental health first. So as you can tell, we broke up. I didn’t want to continue trying to work through the rough patches anymore. There’s a difference between a one time thing and a repeat pattern.
There were so many red flags from the beginning but of course I always choose to ignore them, but I can say that I didn’t choose to ignore them longer than I have in the past. It didn’t take long before I started thinking about myself and what I deserve when the red flags started happening on a constant basis instead of once in a while. I promised myself that I wouldn’t just settle for things that I am not okay with, and I really stuck by it this time around and I AM PROUD OF MYSELF. Normally, I would just cave in and stick around because I would feel like that was what I deserved. I have grown so much since my last relationship and I have gotten to that mental space that I won’t tolerate anything less than what I deserve. When I say that I am proud of myself for finally putting my foot down and saying “I don’t deserve this” made this weight lift off my shoulders and made me feel that I have grown as a person and a women. 
I was talking to one of my friends about how I want to pull my daughter out of school and just travel the world with her so that way she gets the correct history and not the USA version. (Let’s be real, everything in our history books are never the full story). As I was having this discussion, my friend pointed out that I never talk about a guy, that I just talk about me and my daughter and dog. When I say that shook me, that really shook me because I had never noticed that. I then realized that one thing my mom has taught me is to never depend on a man and make your plans and goals first, and if a man decides to tag along or change those plans slightly then that’s how you’ll know you’re in love. That is something that has always stuck with me. Like Cher says “A man is not a necessity, a man is a luxury”.
Moral of the story. I am back to being single and living my life the way it should be lived without something trying to dictate every move I make. I have no negative energy or bad vibes towards him. It was just in the end, We didn’t connect like we thought and that’s fine. Well that is the tea for you darlings. Now that I’m single, there will probably be more and more blog post.
XoXo Darlings
Unapologetic Life 